If you’re a newlywed, this question is a no-brainer. You’re in love, your spouse is your everything and nothing will ever move him/her down from the #1 spot in your life.
And suddenly, your #1 slips down to #2, possibly #3, maybe even the last spot on your list.
All of the things and people in your life are so important. And trust me, I know how difficult it is to balance it all.
But something happens when our #1 slips lower in priority.
Space is created, intimacy is lost, and the connection slowly starts to fade.
I learned this the hard way.
Our marriage was in a rough spot and I made our children my priority because at that point in time, they were what brought me the most joy.
I couldn’t see past the point of no return in our marriage.
Our connection was lost and our marriage was at the bottom of the list.
The only way to come back was to place my husband back in the #1 spot.
Above my friendships. Above my own needs. Above my KIDS (that was tough).
I started slowly, with the smallest gestures I could muster up.
When I would serve dinner, I made him a plate and served him before serving my kids.
I started thanking him for working and providing for our family.
If we went out to dinner, I chose his favorite restaurants.
I never told him what I was doing.
My tiny gestures turned into a big change: he was my #1 again.
And the most amazing thing happened when he knew, and felt, like the most important person in my life again…it allowed ME to flourish.
He encouraged me to spend time with my friends because he was no longer insecure about his place in my heart.
He felt appreciated by me and the kids, which in turn created his desire to spend more time with us.
Make no mistake – making someone your #1 doesn’t mean bowing down or allowing yourself to be walked upon.
It means listening a little deeper to the cry of their heart and allowing that cry to be louder than your own.