Ryan didn’t have his own car in high school, but he had rollerblades. Our houses were 2.5 miles apart, but he’d strap on those inline skates and show up at my door. He’d be a sweaty mess and out of breath, but OMG, he was so dreamy.
Years later, I asked him how he made it to my house so quickly. He said, “I used to imagine that I was racing [boy who shall not be named] to your house and I wasn’t going to let him win.”
Ryan pursued me so well, that I never had to try. To be honest, I didn’t even know how to chase him.
Marriage, unexpected loss, financial mistakes, babies, and stress stopped the chase.
The only thing we were chasing was survival.
And we didn’t care if the other was following along.
We ran so far in opposite directions, my solution was separation.
I left home with the kids and met with a divorce lawyer.
It was a miracle (seriously) that we found our way back together.
But I still didn’t know how to chase him.
I watched him run circles around my needs trying to meet every single one.
I could tell he was getting tired of being the only one to run the race in our newly reconciled marriage.
I needed to step in. I needed to chase him.
I sought advice from many experienced women in my life.
But there was one in particular whose words I will never forget. She not only placed me on the starting line, she pulled the trigger to get me running.
“It only takes one. One woman to treat your husband with respect. One woman to listen to him. One woman to tell him he’s a good man. Is it you? Or her?”
From that day forward, I vowed to chase him. I pursued him as though I had to win him all over again.
I never wanted him to look outside of our marriage for anything.
Respect? I’m on it. Kindness? I’m in the fast lane. Sex? Hand me the medal. Love? Olympic champion.
I wasn’t going to let anyone else win.
We still had our arguments. One of us was always the tortoise while the other was the hare.
But we didn’t stop.
Don’t stop chasing your spouse. There is someone out there willing to run the race.
Is it you?