It’s Not 50/50

I’m not good with numbers. At all. It took me 3 semesters to get through algebra.
But one thing I was sure of: 50+50=100, which led me to believe that marriage was 50/50.
A pattern I’ve been seeing often is that marriage is being treated like a business contract.
“I’ll do my part, you do yours.”
I hate to tell you this, but marriage is not 50/50.
There’s a difference between “meeting halfway” and “I’ll come in with my half.”
You guys – “meeting halfway” is about compromise. That’s when you’re talking about your beauty budget and his fishing hobby or where to go for dinner.
But “I’ll come in with my half” should never be about your marriage.
Don’t misunderstand me – marriage is most definitely a partnership.
And it works best when two are willing to work together.
But over time, we can become comfortable with showing up only half the time.
Marriage is 100/100 ALL. THE. TIME.
You’re not bringing your half of the marriage to the table.
You’re bringing 100% of YOU to the marriage.
I used to bring my husband coffee each morning.
But if we didn’t settle an argument the night before…
…I still brought him his coffee.
Sure, I may have served that coffee with a side of bitterness, but I showed up.
That coffee cup was often times the truce-maker.
That little gesture let my husband know that I was in 100%, even if I was hurt.
As a result, he showed up, ready to try again, giving me 100% of him.
I think about those coffee deliveries often.
My scorekeeping self of the past would’ve held onto every hurtful word said the night before and given me permission to deduct from my half of the marital equation.
And once we start deducting from the half we contribute, what’s left to give?
If we allow ourselves to live in a 50/50 marriage, it will never equal 100.
The truth is that you are not the perfect spouse. And neither is your husband/wife.
But each of you are perfectly capable of giving your marriage 100% of who you are.
And 100+100= 2❤️❤️
(My kinda math 😊)


1 Comment

  • Reply
    October 4, 2020 at 9:57 am

    I just started following you today. I was reading your old blogs when I came across this one. I could not agree more. We tell our children all the time marriage is not 50/50. It’s something we learned a long time ago but was solidified when our pastor did a sermon all about this theory. 💕

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